Teenager Tips

  • Really listen to what your teenager has to say and actively acknowledge the feelings on both sides.
  • Remember to acknowledge their point of view even if don't necessarily share it.
  • Try to keep things in perspective. Decide what is important and what is less important and expect to be challenged.
  • Your relationship with your child is changing. They are becoming young adults. Try to speak to them as young adults rather than 'children'.
  • Send plenty of strong messages of thanks and appreciation.
  • Show an interest in what your teenager is doing at school and out of school but don't pry into their personal lives.
  • Sometimes it's best to agree to disagree over the values behind a conflict, but you can agree to changes in behaviour.
  • Avoid using labels as they can be very damaging to your child's self-esteem. The need to fulfil even positive labels can be carried like a weight around the neck into adult life.
  • Teenagers need freedom so that they can learn to take responsibility for themselves but they still need the boundaries which show them that you care.
  • Changing bodies and strange feelings and thoughts can leave a teenager feeling very self-conscious, so their space and privacy is important.
  • Remember to look after yourself and recharge your battery in order to continue doing the job of parenting.
  • Don't be afraid of seeking help if necessary.
  • Try to have general chats with friends and relatives who also have teenagers - you may pick up some useful ideas.

Your teenager needs you

Sometimes it's easy to forget that whilst being an adult has all sorts of stresses and strains, being a teenager isn't always that great either. First of all, they are at a difficult age when they're no longer seen either as children or as adults. Secondly, their hormones are racing, they're under pressure from friends and the latest trends won't leave them alone.
These are just some of the issues that lead to mood swings and tantrums that we commonly associate with teenagers. It would probably help if you tried to handle the problems whilst remembering that:

Teenagers need love

Despite the cool and distant image they are still in need of care and attention. Don't let them fool you.

Teenagers need privacy

They constantly worry about their looks, their bodies, and the strange feelings and thoughts they are experiencing. Whether it's lack of self-confidence or just a curiosity about the way their bodies are developing, they need time to sort out things for themselves. Give them space and don't take it personally if they prefer not to talk to you.

Teenagers need to be different

They need to show to the world that they're growing up and are no longer an extension of you. This might mean being akward or stroppy and doing things you probably wouldn't like, such as getting a piercing or a tattoo.

Teenagers need boundaries

They may kick up a fuss about being old enough to look after themselves, but the truth is that teenagers don't always make the right choices and they know this as well as you do. Setting out some ground rules makes it clear that they're being looked after and despite the fuss that they make about being in charge of their own lives, the boundaries actually make them feel safe and secure.

Teenagers need to be listened to

Sometimes they think you're not giving them a chance to make their case. If you want teenagers to listen to then you should try to make the effort to listen as well. Show them that their ideas and opinions matter, even if you disagree with them and every now and then, try to negotiate something that's fair to you both and then let them take responsibility for their own decisions.

How can we help You?

 If you are having problems with your child and you think they are likely to run away or are talking about moving out then the homelessness Prevention Scheme can help you and your teenager.
  • Contact us and you will be able to have a chat and get the advice and support you require to prevent your child form becoming homeless.
  • Or, you can make a referral for your child to have an assessment with a Youth Homeless Prevention Worker.  The Worker will then be able to come up with a suitable action plan for the young person; this may include Mediation, a planned move, or maybe some preventative work.